ha!

Why, hello there, internet.

It's been awhile. You know what, I just re-read my last post* and realised I actually handed in my thesis early. I said "MARCH" and it was FEBRUARY. Only 'early' by a matter of days. And only according to a schedule that was arguably meaningless, given that it was stated in the blogosphere, poor much maligned and arguably misnomered poppet that it is, as opposed to all previous more formal statements of intent. BUT DAMMIT IT IS SUBMITTED AND IT WAS SUBMITTED TWO WEEKS BEFORE MY SECOND EXTENSION ENDED.

You know something? It is May, 2010. This year is basically half gone. Which comes as a shock every year, so even I am kind of bored of hearing me say it, but this year is going faster THAN ALL THE YEARS. But. HELLO. I am now pretty much free to do what I want.

I can't tell you how good that is.


Actually, I can.

Like, last weekend, right? Long weekend, yes? [insert Last Post** here] How good are THEY when you are being paid to have an extra day? It was almost worth spending that long studying to be able to bounce off the walls in a state of brainless abandoned joy about weekends - and having a Third Day on which Nothing is Required - _well_ HELLO. I got up. I had coffee. I went to the gym. A 20 year old asked me about my current stress levels***, my "goals" for joining the gym.**** AND THEN MEASURED MY THIGH CIRCUMFERENCE. I then exercised. Did not die. Went home. Went and saw a movie. I LOVE YOU TINA FEY.



*no, not _that_ last post, I'm not musical in the slightest, one can't even imagine how I would have transcribed the trumpetty version. I was speaking chronologically, not musical-rembrancy. I'm glad we got _that_ sorted out.

**trumpetty version

*** none, I said, visibly smug

**** "Not dying." is an exact quote of my reply... "ummm, let's just put longevity, shall we?" was the exact response.*****

***** "Fitting into like a wedding dress" was one of the suggested "goals" as to why I would want to lumber forth into a world of stretch pants and HORRIBLE music.

ah, existence

Right now I'm experiencing that particularly blesséd state of being, the Sunday night of a long weekend. The normal feeling of impending doom is lightened, delayed for a 24 hour period. This is heightened for me this evening, as despite *knowing* the whole time that this is a Long Weekend, I had experientially and thus essentially forgotten said detail. So when, mid-bemoanst that I was not going to be able to continue the fruitful work this weekend was yielding on my thesis, blue-bolt like it struck me that this, *this* is a Long. Weekend. it was like a gift from the very heavens above.

But, ay, there's the rub. You've spotted it dear friend, no? The reason for my deep, and I would certainly claim, profound, and, I can only hope, long-lasting, joy at this celestial revelation is not that it gives me time to swan about in a pair of sequinned mou-mous,* delectable beverage in hand, but, rather, spend another day working on my thesis, daunting beast that it is. Those of you given to such projects will understand the miraculous productivity that is the Third Day however - the snow ball effect after the first and second days, where Knuckle Down is Achieved and Thesis Topic is Remembered. Today, today, oh joy of heavenly joys, I had brief glimpses of the Actual Argument that is the Meat Food upon which the Thesis Feeds.

This is dangerously positive. The end, it is in sight. So much of my present and future happiness is at stake in this sensation not proving delusory that I hardly bear trust myself to think, speak, type it lest it prove a brief transitory insanity that leaves me shell-like and rocking forth and back. For, in the current state, I am currently operating on the One True Deadline: the first thesis deadline that I have actually and totally Believed In. All others have been false deadlines, but knowningly false, the 9/09/09 was poetic and palindromic yes, but never entirely faithfully enacted. And perhaps that was its ultimate vice, its downfall, but this, this, oh March 2010, you are the True Deadline, the one in which all hopes reside.

*admittedly, if one is to take, you know, accepted english definitions for words 'mou-mou' refers to the kind of one-piece robe-like garment beloved of Parliament smokers everywhere. If, however, one is to take the definitions that were determined during a morning tea break at a place I was briefly employed at some years ago, the accepted definition of mou-mou is that the term is taken to refer to those kitten-heeled fluffy-toed 'slipper' often seen on a young lady of the house who is also taken to the wearing of fluffy (ostrich feather?)-edged robe around the house. Naturally, it is this latter to which the present author ascribes.

My life: as told by my iTunes library

I’d rather waste you than the money on my phone
I’ll be back
I’ll be lightning
I’ll cry instead
I’ll never be the same.

I’m Alive
I’m Alright
I’m Away
I’m different

I’m going back home
I’m gonna leave you
I’m happy just to dance with you
I’m not gonna beg

I’m open
I’m so bored with the U.S.A.
I’m still faithful
(I’m) so sorry now
I’ve been a bad bad boy
I’ve got my love to keep me warm

I can’t see New York
I can see for miles

I cried for you
I don’t feel like Dancin’
I don’t like Mondays

I feel fine
I feel free
I feel it all
I fought the law

I found noise at ATP
I get high
I go to sleep
I hold no grudge
I know we could be so happy baby (if we wanted to be)

I like giants

I love your lovin’ ways
I loves you Porgy
I loves you Porgy (live)

I make hamburgers
I make hamburgers

I may know the word
I offered it up to the stars and the night sky
I put a spell on you
I really should’ve gone out last night

I remember
I see mama
I shall be released
I shall be released (live)
I shall not walk alone

I should have known better
I still miss someone
I think that I would die
I thought about you
I walk the line

I want a little sugar in my bowl
I want to be ready
I want to hold your hand
I want to hold your hand

I was alive
I will
I will
I will explode
I will not go quietly (Duffy’s song)
I will not go quietly (Duffy’s song)

I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
I wish I never saw the sunshine
I wish that I was beautiful for you
I won’t cry